Operations suspended

Dear Readers,

The Daily Coin has temporarily (or permanently) suspended operations. This decision was not made lightly. It was based on the alarmist rantings of self-proclaimed lexical economists who argue that releasing too many new words into circulation will debase our linguistic currency and lead to runaway lexical inflation. The last thing this great nation needs is more words with less meaning. So, to keep our paragraphs shorter and to preserve the semantic exchange of meaningful discourse in public and private I have taken the bold step of shutting down the mint. No neologisms will be coined until the vitality of our lexicon is restored. 

Thank you for your patronage. Your loyalty as readers has been highly valued by the Keebler Elves who were in charge of forging new coins every day in addition to their full-time cookie production work. Unfortunately, you will not be rewarded for your loyalty in this life or the next—and you will not receive any free cookies. You may, however, receive a free duffel bag. In the event this does occur, it will likely have no connection with The Daily Coin. If it does, the connection is purely coincidental.

Please do fill your lexical bag with the jar of coins we have gathered here and hand them out as alms to the wordless in your conversations with others and with yourselves, in your personal and professional email and IM exchanges, in your text messages to strangers—maybe even slip them into a fortune cookie or two.

Thank you, and please spread the words...  

#83 Incrementilitarian

One who believes progress is best achieved in small increments.

It took 23 years but Lowell finally had "W" under his belt, and in three more years he would know the entire alphabet. Progress was slow, but that was fine by him. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day. Slow and steady wins the race. Haste makes waste. These were Lowell's core beliefs as an incrementilitarian. 

#82 Jar of jarg

A jar of jargon preserved for a particular end.

To impress upon the conference attendees the importance of his work, the professor of semiotics littered his address with choice chunks from his jar of jarg.

#81 Knee benders

Derogatory term for office workers who prefer the archaic practice of sitting at a desk to the enlightened practice of standing at a desk.

Clare and Geoffrey knew their love was doomed. She was a standie, he was a knee bender. Standies and knee benders just don't mix. 

#80 Standies

Office workers who formally renounce the archaic practice of sitting at one's desk in favor of standing.

Sitting is done, standing is fun, chairs beware—the standies are here!

#79 Gruelogy

A grueling eulogy.

The friends and family of the dearly departed wept in agony, until the priest finished delivering his gruelogy.

Root = grueling + eulogy

#78 Cushion coins

Concealed, hard-to-find neologisms.

It was almost midnight and the neologist was scrounging through the dank upholstery of his subconscious for any cushion coins he could find.