After stumbling upon nearly a decade's worth of semi-mildewy issues of Reader's Digest in his Aunt Tilly's basement, Milton read through all of the "Quotable Quotes" in every edition from 1983 to 1989. It was a veritable feast of empty intellectual calories. And, Milton knew that Gorging himself on so many cogitator tots would inevitably lead to a severe case of cognitive indigestion.
Sep 18, 2012
#28 Cogitator tots
Little nuggets of crispy deep-fried thought.
After stumbling upon nearly a decade's worth of semi-mildewy issues of Reader's Digest in his Aunt Tilly's basement, Milton read through all of the "Quotable Quotes" in every edition from 1983 to 1989. It was a veritable feast of empty intellectual calories. And, Milton knew that Gorging himself on so many cogitator tots would inevitably lead to a severe case of cognitive indigestion.
After stumbling upon nearly a decade's worth of semi-mildewy issues of Reader's Digest in his Aunt Tilly's basement, Milton read through all of the "Quotable Quotes" in every edition from 1983 to 1989. It was a veritable feast of empty intellectual calories. And, Milton knew that Gorging himself on so many cogitator tots would inevitably lead to a severe case of cognitive indigestion.
Sep 17, 2012
#27 Metaphysical malpractice insurance
Liability insurance that helps protect metaphysicians and other metaphysical practitioners against litigation related to the practice of metaphysics.
Sophie the Seer was a tough sell, but Hudson wasn't giving up. No, that's not how you become "Regional Metaphysical Malpractice Insurance Salesman of the Year" three years in a row. Hudson extended his rate sheet across the crystal ball so the seer could take a closer look. “Our premiums really can’t be beat. And, we offer the most extensive coverage in the region—we cover mystics, fortune tellers, paranormal investigators, mind readers, astrologers, clairvoyants, palmists, numerologists.” Without saying a word, the seer inhaled deeply on her Marlboro Light and cast a skeptical look on Hudson. "Listen Sophie, the last thing you need is some spurned lover filing a malpractice suit against you. You'll lose everything. Buy our coverage, for a modest premium, and you'll be protected.”
Sep 16, 2012
#26 Malthusiate
To pontificate on matters apocalyptic or cataclysmic; to make dire predictions or issue ominous warnings.
Cassandra refused to accompany George to dinner parties because she knew, if given the opportunity, he would Malthusiate at great length, especially if anyone broached the topic of greenhouse gas emissions or peak oil.
Cassandra refused to accompany George to dinner parties because she knew, if given the opportunity, he would Malthusiate at great length, especially if anyone broached the topic of greenhouse gas emissions or peak oil.
Sep 15, 2012
#25 Godless send
The non-religious equivalent of a godsend.
Just as the flood waters reached the gutters of the duplex, a rescue boat appeared out of nowhere. The resident of 48A, a devout religious man, believed it to be a godsend. The resident of 48B, a closet atheist, believed the arrival of the rescue boat had nothing to do with divine intervention. It was, simply, a godless send.
Just as the flood waters reached the gutters of the duplex, a rescue boat appeared out of nowhere. The resident of 48A, a devout religious man, believed it to be a godsend. The resident of 48B, a closet atheist, believed the arrival of the rescue boat had nothing to do with divine intervention. It was, simply, a godless send.
Sep 14, 2012
#24 Trimjectory
The path a trimjectile follows through space as a function of time.
After tossing her Chicken Fresca with Chardonnay Café Steamer into the trash bin, Natalie was ready to focus on the task at hand—harnessing the computational power of Microsoft Excel to calculate the trimjectory needed to arc her trimjectile over the cube wall and into Nevin's cup of probiotic yogurt.
Root = trim + trajectory
After tossing her Chicken Fresca with Chardonnay Café Steamer into the trash bin, Natalie was ready to focus on the task at hand—harnessing the computational power of Microsoft Excel to calculate the trimjectory needed to arc her trimjectile over the cube wall and into Nevin's cup of probiotic yogurt.
Root = trim + trajectory
Sep 13, 2012
#23 Trimjectile
A fingernail or toenail projected through space via a propulsive force such as nail clipper.
It was a typical Monday. The lunch hour had come to a close and Natalie had slipped her left foot out of her shoe and placed it on the edge of her desk. Her weekly office grooming ceremony would soon commence, and Nevin knew it was only a matter of time until a stray trimjectile would arc over his cube wall and either make direct contact with his face or land in his cup of probiotic yogurt.
Root = trim + projectile
Sep 12, 2012
#22 Right of tray
Legal or accepted right of way of a tray carrier, whether pedestrian or vehicular, to proceed ahead of another.
My heart began to beat rapidly as I took the witness stand. As the prosecutor approached me, my mind went blank and I was transported back to the night of the accident—to the ghastly site of two tray buggies colliding into each other, to the horrendous aftermath of Swedish meatballs and lingonberries strewn about cashiers and innocent bystanders. The fate of two men, one with a sprained ankle and one with a stubbed toe, was now in my hands.
The lawyer's thundering voice brought me back to the courtroom. "Did my client, Bernardo M. Myslinski, as he pushed his double-decker tray buggy to the cash register, wanting nothing more than to rest his feet and enjoy a peaceful meal of baked salmon with vegetable medallions after navigating the seemingly endless corridors of the showroom floor...Did my client, a hard-working father of two, have right of tray as he departed the food counter and headed toward the cash register station when the defendant—who, if I may remind the ladies and gentleman of the jury, was pushing an uninsured tray buggy and texting while driving, as some witnesses have attested—came careening out of the ordering line from in front of the dessert display to sideswipe my client?"
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