#72 Onomatolycanthropoeia

Onomatopoeia as applied to sounds of lyncanthropic origin.

As soon as the door swung open, the trick-or-treater in a werewolf costume demonstrated his mastery of onomatolycanthropoeia by letting out a deep, guttural "owoooooo!" 

Root = onomatopoeia + lycanthropy

#71 Cryptozumbology

Sub-field of cryptozoology concerned with finding evidence for the existence of cryptozoological specimens practicing Zumba.

Dr. Phineas M. Warburton was your run-of-the-mill cryptozoologist—descending into the depths of Loch Ness in a miniature submarine to measure the ultrasonic vocalizations of the elusive Nessie, spelunking in Richtersveld, South Africa to collect the droppings of the legendary grootslang, roaming the remote corners of Puerto Rico to examine the entrails of livestock purportedly attacked by the fearsome chupacabra, and even scaling the craggy peaks of the Himalayas to measure the footprints of the legendary Yeti. That all changed when Dr. Spengler, in the midst of foraging for psychotropic mushrooms in the lush forests of the Olympic Peninsula in Washington state, encountered what appeared to be a troop of kooloo-kamba performing a Zumba routine to a Gloria Estefan track emanating from the forest canopy. He failed to collect evidence from the scene, but the experience left a deep imprint on his psyche and he vowed to devote his life's work to the study of cryptozumbology.    

Root = Cryptozoology + Zumba

#70 Abstormal

Of abnormal meteorological composition in regard to storm formation.

The anthropocene is here. Abstormal is the new normal.

Root = abnormal + storm

#69 Mittriculated student

A student who is admitted into a college or university, enrolled in an accredited degree program full-time, and eligible for tuition assistance from one's parents.

John would not be attending college in the fall. As the son of a cab driver and a food service worker, he did not meet all of the requirements of a Mittriculated student. 

#68 Monstormsity

A monstrosity of a storm.

East Coast residents are hunkering down with small arsenals of bottled water and beef jerky in preparation for Frankenstorm, a monstormsity expected to unleash meteorological mayhem as it forms into a singular super storm through the convergence of multiple weather systems.

Root = monstrosity + storm

#67 Ledge blubber

The fatty undercarriage of cat a sitting on a ledge.

Perched majestically on the narrow arm of the sofa, the American shorthair would occasionally open its eyes and glance at the comings and goings of its hapless masters with the nonchalance of a sky goddess peering down at lesser beings. Not for lack of sleep would the shorthair, with great frequency, let out a deep, primeval yawn that would send seismic waves cascading through its body, causing its ledge blubber to quake and quiver.

Colloquial usage = Ledge fat, ledge lumps, ledge lumpies

#66 Troll C'ing & V'ing

Grooving through the copying and pasting of a substantial amount of digital content via the keyboard shortcuts CTRL + C and CTRL + V.

Supervisor: What have you been doing all day?

Supervisee: Troll C'ing & V'ing!

Colloquial usage = Troll C'in & V'in

#65 Tockin' the doc

Inserting a table of contents (TOC) into a document.

Supervisor: What are you doing?

Supervisee: Tockin' the doc!

#64 Goudaru

A guru of Gouda.

He ascended from the cheese cave a broken man. His hours of toil had not been rewarded with a wheel of sweet yellow Gouda but a grotesque approximation of a Gouda-like substance. It was no surprise, after all. The operation was botched from the beginning. His cultured milk looked uncultured and uncouth; his curds looked like turds and his whey looked weird. He knew in his heart he would not attain Gouda greatness without guidance from a master Gouda maker, a goudaru.

Root = Gouda + guru

#63 Apology tourist trap

Tourist trap for apologists of America.

The humanities professor was beginning to second guess his vacation plans for spring break. His wife had booked a cruise, Jewels of the Near East, which toured many of the countries Barack Obama had visited during his presidential candidacy. "Liza, maybe we should rethink this trip. I mean, the Middle East is such an apology tourist trap."

#62 Romnascent

Newly emerging after a reboot.

After alienating a significant percentage of the electorate, the Romnascent candidate reinvented his campaign from the ground up.

Root = Romney + nascent

#61 Walk into the ground

To ruin something very gradually through mismanagement. 

The former CEO had run the company into the ground. His successor, however, appeared to be doing much better. So far, she was on track to merely walk the company into the ground.

#60 Romne'er-do-well

A derogatory term for a good-for-nothing Romney supporter engaging in vote-suppressing activity. 

A Romneologist in repose, Dr. Salvatore was sitting on a park bench and taking in the autumn air when a Prius pulled up alongside the edge of the road. The window rolled down slowly, the voice of Terry Gross growing louder as the engorged crimson face of the enraged liberal behind the steering wheel became visible. The Big Bird enabler spat out a mouthful of chai latte and directed his righteous indignation toward a group of seemingly benign Romney canvassers. "I will not stand idly by and watch you infernal Romne'er-do-wells make a mockery of the Fifteenth Amendment. Get lost!" A Romneologism was born and Dr. Salvatore was there to witness it. He began chasing the Prius as it silently sped off into the distance.

Root = Romney + ne'er-do-well

#59 Octafurcate

To divide into eight branches or parts.

The toddler used the plastic knife from the takeout bag to octafurcate the nematode inching along the edge of the picnic blanket.

#58 Petri popsicle

A bacteria-laden object that a teething infant sucks on.

The mother entered the living room only to discover her 7-month old sitting on the floor as content as can be with a petri popsicle in his mouth. As soon as she removed the RCA universal remote control from his mouth her son's serenity dissolved into ferocious hysteria.

#57 Bus lamb

One who is "thrown under the bus." 

Someone ate the last cookie. Someone had to take the fall for it. It was not going to be Maurice. No, not this time. He had been thrown under the bus all his life. He was not going to be the sacrificial bus lamb for this one. Besides, he was allergic to macadamia nuts. Why would he eat the last Sausalito Milk Chocolate Macadamia cookie from the Pepperidge Farm sampler in the office break room?

#56 Romneologist

One who coins neologisms containing "Romney" as the root word.

Professional herpetologist by day, semi-professional endocrinologist by mid-day, and amateur etymologist by night, Dr. Arturo M. Salvatore was on the trail, he believed, of the Romneologist who coined the portmanteau word Romneycare.

Root = Romney + neologist

#55 Scrambloon

A person, place, object, idea, or goal that represents a false form of salvation.

"Don't be a dimbo socket," cried Milton's wife. "You're really going to bankrupt us just to buy that stupid totaliterry cloth robe? Don't you see? It's just not going to make you happy. It's a scrambloon. Like when you wanted to meet Kelsey Grammer. I spent all my graduation money getting us to LA so we could be in the live studio audience to see an episode of Frasier being filmed and then sneak into his dressing room. It was going to transform your life forever, and it did. For about a week. Then you wanted to move to New Zealand and we did. We spent our last dime getting there just so we could work for free on a llama farm. And don't think I forgot when you sold our car to buy that holy loaf of Wonder Bread from eBay, where each slice, after being toasted, supposedly would depict a Station of the Cross. Or when you wouldn't shave for almost three years because you wanted to set the Guinness world record for longest mutton chops."

#54 Somnambulatte

A latte consumed while sleepwalking.

After returning from the sleep clinic where she was observed rising from a slow wave sleep stage and playing a game of cribbage against herself, Gwen was surprised to discover she had the rare condition of somnambulism. After returning from her accountant's office where a year's worth of receipts from Starbucks revealed that she was purchasing a triple grande soy latte every single day at 2:45 AM, she was flabbergasted to discover she was a somnambulatte drinker.

Root = somnambulate + latte

#53 Dehydrabation

Dehydration caused by debating. 

Winning the debate against Obama’s Bidencep was important for the wonkabe, but not nearly as important as avoiding dehydrabation. 

#52 Bidencep

Obama’s rhetorical muscle in the form of Joe Biden.

While Romney unleashes the big guns with Paul Ryan, who is pumping up for the vice presidential debate with multiple sets of alternating bicep curls, President Obama is flexing his Bidencep as Vice President Joe Biden finishes up a four-day regiment of mock-debate concentration curls at an intense debate camp in Wilmington, Delaware.

Root = Biden + bicep

#51 Educonsternation

Anxiety, frustration, and dismay over the state of modern education.

In the latest attempt to allay our educonsternation, Secretary of Education Arne Duncan issued a proclamation to replace paper with pixels. "Over the next few years," he said, "textbooks should be obsolete." 

Root = education + consternation

#50 Paradox of the cake

A more palatable formulation of the paradox of the stone whereby a stone is substituted with a cake and the act of lifting is substituted with the act of eating.

The unibrain strode into the conference room in unison at 8:45 AM. Each brain picked up his or her name badge: Brain 1, Brain 2, Brain 3, Brain 4, Brain 5, Brain 6, Brain 7. It seemed impersonal but, as the temp agency recruiter explained to each of the brains, it was a prerequisite of the job to surrender one's individual identity for the collective whole, a kind of cognitive communism. U Pluribus Unibrainum. 

Bagels were provided. All but one brain indulged. At precisely 9:00 AM the mysterious Hudson S. McMacMulligan appeared. McMacMulligan looked like Mr. Peanut but less aristocratic and less jovial. 

McMacMulligan stood before the conference table where the unibrain was seated and said the following: 

Ladies and gentleman, you are here today because of a dream I had a fortnight ago. I was in the deepest of deep slumbers when Paul Hogan, who is more commonly known as Crocodile Dundee on this continent, approached me at a bus station in Buffalo, NY. Before boarding a Greyhound for Toledo, Ohio, Mr. Hogan looked me in the eye and said, "Can God bake a cake so big he cannot eat it?" I awoke in a cold sweat and from that moment forward swore an oath to Paul Hogan and to myself: I, Hudson S. McMacMulligan, will dedicate my blood, my sweat, and my fortune to solving the paradox of the cake. 

Can God bake a cake so big he cannot eat it? That is the question before us. That is the unibrain teaser you are here to solve. By God, I do not mean any particular deity of any particular creed but rather the notion of an omnipotent being. As a unibrain, you are, I am certain, keenly aware of the nature of the paradox. Nevertheless, I shall state the nature of the paradox for the record. If God eats the cake, not only will it elevate his divine blood sugar but it will also mean that he is not omnipotent because he will have failed to bake a cake too big to eat. Yet—and this is what is most insidiously vexing—if he cannot eat the cake because it is too big to eat, then it means God is not omnipotent because an omnipotent being should be able to eat a cake of any size. I implore you, unibrain, to put your manymind to the task of resolving this paradox.

Brain 4 nibbled on her onion bagel as McMacMulligan exited the room. It was clear to her that God could not have his cake/not have his cake and be omnipotent too. It was also clear to her that it had slipped her mind and subsequently the entire unimind to have Mr. McMacMulligan sign the unibrain's timesheet.

#49 Unibrain drain

Emigration of the best and brightest unibrains to other countries.

Hudson S. McMacMulligan did indeed spend his last thousand dollars attempting to unravel the paradox of the cake. It was a vexing unibrain teaser but that was not the problem in his view. The problem was the substandard unibrain under his employ. As any of McMacMulligan's friends and foes alike will attest, he is not a man to cut corners on matters cranial and he is certainly not a man to mistake the symptom for the cause. The root cause, as outlined in legislation he presented to Congress on behalf of his elected Representative, was an antiquated immigration policy that had led to unprecedented unibrain drain and, consequently, to a dearth of able-minded unibrains in the United States. No reputable small business owner or chief executive officer would dispute this. McMacMulligan had to scrape the bottom of the brain barrel, which is clearly why he ended up with a feeble-manyminded unibrain that was incapacitated on its second day on the job by a unibrain freeze.  

#48 Unibrain teaser

A brain teaser so difficult it can only be solved by a unibrain.

After the unibrain freeze subsided, the unibrain set its collective mind to solving the unibrain teaser it had been hired to solve by the eccentric thousandaire, Hudson S. McMacMulligan, who had vowed to spend his last thousand dollars trying to solve a paradox that had come to him, he believed, in a dream: Can God bake a cake so big that he cannot eat it? Unbeknownst to McMacMulligan, this was not a novel paradox. It was essentially a reformulation of a classic paradox of omnipotence known as the paradox of the stone: Can an omnipotent being create a stone so heavy that that omnipotent being cannot lift it? 

#47 Septafurcate

To branch into seven segments.

See coin #46 for usage.

#46 Unibrain freeze

Sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia, or brain freeze, as experienced by a collective mind.

It was a hot summer day and the unibrain, an extremely brainy brain trust hired by an eccentric thousandaire to work on a top secret project, emerged from its windowless office to find refreshment. And, find refreshment it did as it strode single file in synchrony toward a nearby 7-11. The unibrain was so thirsty that each brain within the unibrain simultaneously sipped an entire 78-oz Super Sour Watermelon Slurpee in a single sip from a single straw that septafurcated after the bendy part into seven separate but connected mini straws. The result was, inevitably, unibrain freeze.

#45 Paper Big Bird

Inverted paper tiger; an entity that appears non-threatening but effectual made to appear threatening but ineffectual.

In the opening presidential debate of the 2012 election, the GOP presidential candidate employed a novel rhetorical device—a paper Big Bird—to demonstrate how serious he was about reducing the federal deficit. The candidate vowed to stop borrowing money from China to subsidize the exploits of the admittedly lovable Muppet moocher, Big Bird, and his parent network, PBS, which leaches 0.12% of the federal budget annually.

#44 Findosaur

A newly discovered, or found, dinosaur species.

An overdue scientific report on the world's latest findosaur, Pegomastax africanus, was recently published after its fossil remains, which were filed away in a specimen drawer at Harvard for decades, were returned to South Africa for further analysis.

#43 Marmetiquette

Formal rules of conduct to be adhered to in the presence of polite marmot society.

The reasons why Raymond was shunned from a colony of wild yellow-bellied marmots in Yosemite National Park were obvious to the professional wildlife photographer and casual observer alike. He simply did not follow marmetiquette. Instead of sleeping below ground with the colony, he slept above ground, alone, in a Toyota Tercel. Instead of eating grasses, insects, and the occasional bird egg, he ate Twinkies, Hot Pockets, and Pringles. Instead of whistling to warn others of predators, he played a Huey Lewis and the News cassette tape from his car stereo when he saw a pack of coyotes approaching.

Root = Marmot + etiquette 

#42 Take a 7

To rest after a prolonged period of productivity.

Soil amended and seeds sown. Check. Crops harvested, canned, pickled, and preserved. Check. Grain silo erected and surpluses stockpiled. Check. Chicken coops built. Check. Livestock and beasts of burden bred and reared. Check. Rain barrels connected to water filtration and purification system. Check. Solar panels attached to roof, tax credit claimed. Check. Underground bunker built. Check. Antibiotics acquired through extralegal means and placed in lock box. Check. Small arsenal of automatic and semi-automatic weapons acquired through legal means and strewn about fully loaded. Check. Shortwave radio assembled from DIY kit. Check. Moat dug and filled with spikes. Check. 

Bert had done all he could on his little urban plot to prepare for the impending collapse of advanced industrial civilization. It was time to do as the Lord had done 6,000 years ago after toiling away on Creation for 6 days straight. It was time to take a 7 (and drink some home-brewed mead).