Ostentatious terry cloth robe worn by totalitarian dictators.
Geopolitics was of little interest to Milton until the toppling of the Qaddafi regime flooded the market with some of the finest terry cloth robes in the world. As a connoisseur of all things terry cloth and all things camel hair, Milton knew the opportunity of a lifetime was at hand—a chance to acquire one of Qaddafi's prized totaliterry cloth robes from an auction at Christie's. The proceeds would benefit the fledgling post-Qaddafi transitional government but that was of little concern to Milton. Acquiring a one-of-a-kind totaliterry cloth robe was paramount, and Milton had his eye on one of Qaddafi's favorites. It was made from the finest Egyptian cotton (a Father's Day gift from Mubarek) and the most luxurious camel hair in the world. Each strand of camel hair was harvested from a rare free-range two-humped Bactrian camel inhabiting the remote steppes of the Taklamakan Desert, and then meticulously hand-dyed by an artisan camel-hair dyer, using only precious natural pigments produced by indigenous Oaxacan peasants who harvest clusters of female cochineal insects from prickly pear cacti and then pulverize their oval-shaped bodies into a natural dye. As a finishing touch, master embroiderers had stitched a monogram of the infamous fist sculpture (a Herculean fist rising from the earth and crushing a U.S. fighter jet) into the left lapel of the robe. Who in their right mind would not want this robe?
As Milton signed the papers to secure a home equity line of credit on his four-bedroom Cape Cod to raise funds for the totaliterry cloth robe, he closed his eyes and imagined what the otherworldly combination of terry cloth and camel hair would feel liked on his freshly powdered skin.
Root = totalitarian + terry cloth robe
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