#50 Paradox of the cake

A more palatable formulation of the paradox of the stone whereby a stone is substituted with a cake and the act of lifting is substituted with the act of eating.

The unibrain strode into the conference room in unison at 8:45 AM. Each brain picked up his or her name badge: Brain 1, Brain 2, Brain 3, Brain 4, Brain 5, Brain 6, Brain 7. It seemed impersonal but, as the temp agency recruiter explained to each of the brains, it was a prerequisite of the job to surrender one's individual identity for the collective whole, a kind of cognitive communism. U Pluribus Unibrainum. 

Bagels were provided. All but one brain indulged. At precisely 9:00 AM the mysterious Hudson S. McMacMulligan appeared. McMacMulligan looked like Mr. Peanut but less aristocratic and less jovial. 

McMacMulligan stood before the conference table where the unibrain was seated and said the following: 

Ladies and gentleman, you are here today because of a dream I had a fortnight ago. I was in the deepest of deep slumbers when Paul Hogan, who is more commonly known as Crocodile Dundee on this continent, approached me at a bus station in Buffalo, NY. Before boarding a Greyhound for Toledo, Ohio, Mr. Hogan looked me in the eye and said, "Can God bake a cake so big he cannot eat it?" I awoke in a cold sweat and from that moment forward swore an oath to Paul Hogan and to myself: I, Hudson S. McMacMulligan, will dedicate my blood, my sweat, and my fortune to solving the paradox of the cake. 

Can God bake a cake so big he cannot eat it? That is the question before us. That is the unibrain teaser you are here to solve. By God, I do not mean any particular deity of any particular creed but rather the notion of an omnipotent being. As a unibrain, you are, I am certain, keenly aware of the nature of the paradox. Nevertheless, I shall state the nature of the paradox for the record. If God eats the cake, not only will it elevate his divine blood sugar but it will also mean that he is not omnipotent because he will have failed to bake a cake too big to eat. Yet—and this is what is most insidiously vexing—if he cannot eat the cake because it is too big to eat, then it means God is not omnipotent because an omnipotent being should be able to eat a cake of any size. I implore you, unibrain, to put your manymind to the task of resolving this paradox.

Brain 4 nibbled on her onion bagel as McMacMulligan exited the room. It was clear to her that God could not have his cake/not have his cake and be omnipotent too. It was also clear to her that it had slipped her mind and subsequently the entire unimind to have Mr. McMacMulligan sign the unibrain's timesheet.